A Rough Work in Progress

I’m so thankful that the Lord is patient with me! The past few months there have been good reasons not to write here in my blog, but not REALLY good reasons. My digestive issues flared up again, along with my depression and occasional anxiety. Thankfully I’m much better now, with a steady vitamin regiment, taking lots of strolls in the sunshine, and getting appropriate rest. The spring blooms are once again popping here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. It’s such a blessing to live here.

I’m also continually grateful for my family and friends, who have encouraged, supported and challenged me, especially over the past four years. I’m especially thankful for a dear couple from my church who walked with me in the frustrating years leading up to what finally ended in my divorce. At their invitation and in God’s perfect timing, I began and continue to serve alongside them at Simonka women and children’s shelter, helping to lead chapel time three times a month. Ministering to others and sharing my story has strengthened my faith, increased my confidence, and has been a healing balm to my heart.

Last Sunday, the message theme for chapel was about how God uses circumstances to smooth out our rough edges, much like river rocks are smoothed by the rushing water and the silt and sediment in it. Reflecting on how the Lord has worked in me to smooth out some of my edges, I wrote and shared this new poem:

“Go With His Flow”

Thinking back over these past few years,
I’m filled with awesome wonder to see
how the Lord worked during pain and tears
to refine and slowly reshape me.
Like a rock in a river or stream,
the current of life swiftly flows;
Below the water’s surface gleam,
there’s a spiritual undertow.
Troubles, like sediment and sand,
scraped along this jagged stone,
teaching me to trust and understand
who I am and that I’m not alone.
Through our struggles, God can soften
the edges of self-doubt and fear;
He’s who I must cling to most often
whether the water’s silty or clear.
For I have the choice every day:
Either bitterly complain and frown,
or trust God, asking how His way
will smooth my rough edges down.
In rushing rapids or gentle flow,
when I surrender to His correction,
worn but not weary, I joyfully grow.
I’d be up a creek without His direction!
Through troubled water, God wears away
those things that only cause more sorrow,
giving me strength and hope that I may
go with His flow better tomorrow!

4-28-19
©Ladeena Ashley

Last week marked a year since the divorce papers were signed. I still catch myself marveling that I’m on my own. Only I’m not. Jesus has faithfully walked beside me every step of the way. Jesus ROCKS! The more I stay focused on Him, the Spirit lifts me up, giving me a thousand reasons to smile. It gets a bit easier every day.

I’m trusting that He will continue smoothing out my rough edges so that I will more easily follow His leading, and be the loving, faithful disciple He calls me to be. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

We’re all rough works in progress. As it’s been said, Jesus loves you the way you are, but He loves you too much to leave you there. As I pray for myself, I pray for you: that you will surrender to God’s flow and let Him work in you. Don’t be up a creek without Jesus!

Blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
All rights reserved (blog content and photos)

Why A Baby?

So it’s not your imagination. I really haven’t posted since July! I felt it was time to step back for a bit and wait for the Lord to nudge me toward my laptop, in His perfect timing. A holy nudge came this evening, so here I am!

I’ve been working on healing and adjusting back to single life, but also dealing with some health issues, which thankfully have finally improved for the most part. Recently my health had even kept me away from church and from volunteering at Simonka House a couple times, but I was able to return to both, and even shared a new poem at the women’s shelter on Sunday night.

The message title was to be, “Why A Baby?”, which I ruminated on for a couple of days. Though I grew up in the church and don’t ask questions like that, on Saturday I tried to put myself in the shoes of a new believer or unbeliever for a bit, and the Lord inspired me to write this new poem:

“Why A Baby?”

Father God, why a baby?
Jesus could have come in power:
Born of a royal family,
ruling from a golden tower.
Father God, why a baby?
He could’ve shown Who is boss!
Instead, born and placed in a manger
of wood, like His destined cross.
Father God, You sent a baby.
Power and glory filled the skies;
Heaven came down to meet us,
Shepherds couldn’t believe their eyes!
Father God, that tiny baby
became Savior for all on earth;
Through Your plan of sacrifice
begun from one lowly birth.
Promised child asleep in a stable –
You used the foolish to shame the wise;
From small beginnings come miracles,
Your power and love have no disguise.
Father, thank You for that baby
Who became my Savior and King!
I share the joy of Your priceless gift
that made the herald angels sing.

12-22-18
By Ladeena Ashley

On my way to Simonka on Sunday night, I thought about the amazing amount of trust that my friends in ministry have placed in me to share my poems and thoughts, especially as I’m only given the message theme a few days prior. They actually have no idea what I will share until I voice it from the podium in the small chapel room! I’m also continually amazed at the trust the Lord puts in me to be a bearer of His love and hope to those souls who desperately need it. At times I feel like Mary, in the sense that I’m an ordinary woman who God can use in small and sometimes profound ways to spread the Word and further His kingdom.

Yet God specializes in using the ordinary to show His extraordinary love, grace and mercy. All we need to do is keep Him first in our lives and to keep ourselves available, and He works His perfect plan through these imperfect vessels. Glory be to God!

God sacrificed His Son for us, sending Him to earth in the form of a baby who eventually gave His life so that we could have eternal life in heaven. Let us daily offer ourselves as living sacrifices (Romans 12:1), giving our time, talent and treasures so that others may also accept the Greatest Gift they can receive. Not just at Christmas, but any time throughout the year!

I’m not sure when I will post next. Less poems have flowed into my notebooks lately, but there is definitely fodder for future posts, as the Lord leads.

Merry Christmas!

Until next time, blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
All Rights Reserved (Blog content and photo)

Steps To Healing

 

Today I went to a local park to think and pray about the message topic my friend will be sharing at Simonka House tonight: loving others, along with the other “one another” verses in the Bible.

I was also ruminating about this morning’s sermon, the Parable of the Sower: seeds that represent the Gospel message (the Good News of what Jesus did for us), and the types of spiritual soil in people’s lives to accept it. There’s the path (just surface), rocky soil (accepting, only to fall away quickly), thorny, weed-filled soil (good choked out by sin and the cares of this world), and good soil (acceptance and steady growth). What stuck with me was the idea that weeds are native to the soil and so easily grow with no effort on our part. How true is that?!

Strolling around the rose garden, I noticed a lot of stray pieces of wood chips and branches that had ended up in the grass pathways. As I began absentmindedly tossing or kicking them back into the rose beds, I had to admit that lately I’d let my spiritual garden get messy in my desire to sequester myself and just “be” for a bit. Instead of tending to it, I’ve simply distracted myself, letting the weeds do what the enemy intends them to do… choke out the good that God has planned.

It’s been a while since I’ve written, and He knows I’ve needed the rest. On top of adjusting after the divorce, I’ve had ongoing car troubles over this past month. Resting is okay and even expected, to a point, but the Lord gently reminded me that I must continue tending to my spiritual garden and stay closer to Him.

Yet God had something more to tell me this afternoon. Finding a bench in the shade, I was about to sit down when I saw a flash of red on the ground underneath it.

It was a painted rock in the shape of a half heart. On the back were instructions on how to find the other half. I chose a direction and then carefully took the required number of steps, finding the other half on the first try!

Finally sitting down, holding these painted rocks in my hands, the Lord gave me this thought: at some point you have to take steps to put your heart back together and heal. Tears filled my eyes as I let that simple truth move from my head into my heart.

On my own, this is impossible. But through Christ I will have the strength to take the necessary steps to healing (Philippians 4:13). One way is to serve others. For even as I heal, there is joy to be found as I continue stepping out in faith to “love one another” and “bear with one another” as He commands us to do (John 15:9-12).

As Christ followers, we must all take the time, with the help of the Master Gardener, to repent of and deal with the thorns, brambles and stick-tights of life. Everyone’s weeds look different, but Christ died so that we can be weed free! Each day His mercies are new, and as we open ourselves to be tilled and fertilized by the Spirit, He helps us dislodge the weeds. Then the seeds of truth He flings into our lives will grow, yielding a bounty of love, hope and light that we can then share with the world.

Matthew 13:3-9, 18-23

Blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
All Rights Reserved (Blog content and photos)

Glass Half Full?

Since the dust has settled from the divorce and changing my name, I’ve been taking a breather, praying and working through this odd season of life that has me examining my life and reevaluating what it is that I want in it. I was on my own while separated for two and a half years, but everything changed once the papers were signed. Now it truly feels like I’m starting over and moving on. Unfortunately, my feelings morphed from simply considering what sort of hobbies and “stuff” I really feel is worthwhile in my life – reorganizing and consolidating – to looking at my whole life, wondering what the heck I’m doing with it! Overwhelmed, I kind of folded up into myself, a lot like the rose in my photo, even taking a step back from writing, as well, to just “be” for a while.

God Sighting
Yesterday I made a quick stop for groceries and got back in my car only to find that it wouldn’t start. Each time I tried, the engine turned over but apparently it lacked either spark or fuel to fire up and take me anywhere.

My first thought, as a generally glass half full person, was how glad I was that perishable items were not among my purchases in the store.

Over the next 20 minutes or so I contacted a few friends, and thankfully one couple who live nearby came to my rescue. When they arrived, the husband asked me to go ahead and try starting it again, so he could hear how it sounded, and wouldn’t you know it, my car started right up!

After turning off the engine and restarting it again, my car seemed okay. The husband had an errand to run, but his wife and I ended up going out for lunch and had a great visit. Turns out that they were preparing to travel soon , so if I had called even a day later, I likely would not have caught them at all. It was perfect timing.

God knew I needed to reach outside of myself and talk with someone, so He used car troubles to prompt me to do just that! He truly does work in mysterious ways.

New Poem
Tonight I joined my friends to lead chapel time at the Simonka Place women’s shelter. The theme this evening was “Glass Half Full or Half Empty?” This afternoon, after a bit of prayer and once again surrendering my self-doubt to the Lord, He inspired me with a new poem to share:

“The Glass”

At times when the glass of life
feels half empty instead of half full;
At my wit’s end, amidst the strife,
yet good out of evil You pull.
Greater than all I could ask or think,
larger than my hopes and dreams;
Though some days are harder to drink,
still You’re working behind the scenes.
So I will keep looking to You,
my sparkling hope in this transition;
Smiling, knowing You’re not through,
for even now, You give inspiration!
Yes, thank You, Lord, that I have a glass
and that there’s something inside;
Yet beyond that, this moment can’t pass
without praising You, for You abide
in the future, the past and right now.
You hold my heart, Your love will prevail.
I trust that some way, somehow
Your perfect plan will never fail.
So I pour out my glass to You:
in surrender, I’m refilled each day,
peace and joy brimming anew
as by Your grace I get out of the way.
Daily closer to You I’m growing,
lacking nothing I need, in Your care;
Instead, filled to overflowing,
I forget the glass as Your love I share!

6-17-2018
©Ladeena Ashley

My life is different now than I ever thought it might be, but my attitude has remained focused on the bright side, seeing the glass as half full. Many times though, I’ve just been glad I have a glass and that there’s something in it. Contentment is great, yet as I wrote in the poem, we should take it a step further. Instead of focusing on the glass and how we view its contents, we should pour it all out to the Lord, so He can fill us to overflowing with His love, power, grace, strength, joy and peace. When we’re filled with Him and flowing out to those around us, we’ll forget that there’s even a glass!

I believe that is what Jesus meant when He said, “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39) It’s not about us, our limitations or our circumstances, and it’s not about what we have or don’t have. We follow and serve the God of the universe! Through Christ we have been given access to greater things than all we can imagine!

The enemy will tell you that you aren’t good enough or smart enough. Resist him and he must flee (James 4:7). Instead, pour out your glass to the Lord so He can fill it with Himself, transforming and equipping you to perfectly fulfill His purposes. Through Christ you are more than enough!

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21

Blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
All Rights Reserved (Blog Content and Photos)

Peace in the Pain

I’ve written about waiting, of showing God’s love and caring for others by His grace. For over two and a half years, with heart fully committed to the Lord’s leading, I’ve done all I could to work toward reconciliation with my husband: from tough love, setting healthy boundaries, to counseling, offering help when appropriate, along with encouraging and of course, praying. Friends have said that I’ve been faithful and shown more patience and grace than anyone else they’ve met.

Late in March, however, despite my best efforts and prayer, the frustration and pain were so great that I began to realize that this could not be how the Lord intended us to live. Things just couldn’t keep going the way they were, and I sensed from the Lord that the time for waiting was coming to an end.

Sharing my struggles with a close friend, she suggested putting out a “fleece”, similar to what Gideon did (Judges 6:33-40), to confirm what seemed like the right choice. I decided to try it, and the Lord answered.

First I found a shiny penny while on my way home from church. Not knowing the year on it, once at home I prayed, “If it is from this year, then I’ll know it’s okay to divorce [him].” Since it was still only March, it seemed highly unlikely that it would be a 2018 coin, yet it was.

The second answer was after a heavy-duty time of prayer one evening several days later. I left everything on the altar, finally just asking for reassurance that divorce was okay in this case. As I walked into the next room after praying, I heard His still, small voice tell me, “It’s okay. I love you.” Those phrases repeated 3 times.

The third answer was even more profound: I awoke the next morning with an intense headache, mentally wringing my hands over the increasingly awkward and complicated situation with my husband. I desperately wanted to write in my blog, but felt emotionally and physically useless. My heart was broken and without reservation I simply thought this prayer: “If it’s okay to divorce [him], please just take away this headache, and I’ll sit right down and write the blog.” No sooner had I thought those words when my headache evaporated! The unopened bottle of ibuprofen, now unnecessary, still sat on the table. So, true to my word, I promptly grabbed my laptop and posted the April 7^th blog entry.

Honestly, divorce was never an option in the past. Many times during arguments the subject would arise, but I immediately dismissed it. Even once I was ready to consider it, the Lord had to tell me three times that it was okay for me to walk away. The decision was not taken lightly, and only came after countless hours of tearful prayer. I’ve gone through several boxes of tissues!

I know God hates divorce, but He allows it because we are imperfect people who live in a fallen world. Yes, we’d made a commitment before God and with each other, but eventually we had to face the fact that it was not ultimately healthy nor honoring to God to remain married. For one thing, as I’ve mentioned in the past, the dysfunctional nature of the relationship and the ongoing stress it caused definitely took its toll on my body – my digestion and anxiety levels in particular have been out of whack for a long time.

What this all came down to is that my relationship with God is important and should be protected above all else. Jesus said “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters – yes, even their own life – such a person cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26. Not that I should actually hate them, but instead I must love the Lord more. My love for God takes precedence over any human loyalties. We are called to love Him with ALL of our heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22:37). To do that, in this case I needed to walk away.

The divorce was final the day before I wrote my last post. I feel sad and relieved. It was the most difficult decision of my life, but under the pain, there is peace. Here is a poem I wrote about it:

“Peace in the Pain”

There is peace in the pain, calm even in my sorrows;
A rainbow in the rain, hope for our tomorrows.
A new chapter of life because another ends:
I’m no longer a wife, we’re now simply friends.
A decision so daunting, but the Lord walked me through.
So focused, only wanting His will in all I do.
There’s a time to mourn for the good that’s gone,
but joy will be reborn as with courage, we move on.
Missing a piece of my heart, yet my soul is in God’s hand;
I’m making a new start, stepping toward what He’s planned.
Into a future unknown, taking one day at a time;
By grace I don’t walk alone, even as I compose this rhyme!
What was meant for harm, the Lord turns all around,
As I resist the devil’s charm, I’m set on solid ground.
God makes beauty from ashes, bringing comfort in distress;
Rebuilding what Satan trashes, making a message of my mess.
God is working for my best, even through this painful story,
Overall, I’m still so blessed, and all to the Father’s glory!

5-6-18
©Ladeena Ashley

If you’re still reading this, thank you for caring and sticking with me. The negative stigma of divorce, especially in Christian circles, has lessened but there still is an element of judgment. I can’t help that. The Lord knows all about the situation, and by His grace I’ve done my best to walk in His love and according to His wisdom. Now I’m taking the next step into a new chapter of life. God will keep working on us, just not together, and it is healthier for both of us this way.

Blessings to you, this day and always!

Side Note: As you likely noticed, my last name is changed. I went back to my maiden name, which ironically has a better “ring” to it than “Bell”, I think.

©Ladeena Ashley
All Rights Reserved (Blog content and photos)

Blooming Boundaries

 

Last night my friend’s message at Simonka Place was about boundaries. None of the poems I’d composed before seemed to fit quite right. So, once again an 11th hour poet, after work I sat in my car and wrote a new poem. I finished the first draft and scurried to the homeless shelter, sharing my newest creation with the ladies about 10-12 minutes later. God is good!
After some further editing today, here’s the poem:

“Boundaries”

It’s far too easy to lose your voice
when people-pleasing is a knee-jerk choice.
Instead, identity in Christ my King,
I have strength to overcome anything!
Though I’m not perfect, I’m so much better:
Bolder overall – more of a go-getter!
I’m so blessed a new “me” has bloomed,
dispelling the fears that had me entombed.
More sense of self than ever before:
If limits are exceeded, I use the door
to walk out or show it to another –
loving myself, not appeasing my brother.
Thankful that God has taught me to live
more intentionally, my all to give
to Him, in surrender, so I could see
each pitfall and needed boundary.
Stepping forward, then edging back,
trusting Him for the words I lack.
Knowing when to let go and when to stay.
What to allow, and what I should say.
Not automatic, but filled with power
relying on God’s wisdom each hour.
More of a holy dance than a tightrope,
for Christ set me free and gave me hope!
He will ever lead as I seek His face,
navigating boundaries by His love and grace.

3-9-18
©Ladeena Ashley

My poem focused mainly on boundaries in relationships, however in his message my friend spoke of boundaries across many facets of life. The part that hit home with me was in the area of self-care. Taking care of myself has always been something I “should do”, a basic priority of life. (In my mind, boundaries are mostly outward while priorities are inward.) I called it self-discipline, but I didn’t consciously sub-define it as using boundaries within myself. Yet that is so true.

The recurring verse my friend used was: “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial” (1 Corinthians 10:23). We all have choices but don’t always make the best ones for ourselves, and by extension, for others.

My main struggle is getting enough sleep. I am a night owl, and have been for as long as I can remember. However, the last few weeks I’ve found myself staying up even later than normal, and it’s beginning to catch up with me.

Alone time is important to me, and I do need some time to unwind if I’ve had an especially hard day or to process things after a tough conversation. Yet often I’ll stay awake for unimportant reasons, usually ending up looking at a screen of some sort. Honestly, I hate to admit it, but at times lately I’ve felt so overwhelmed. So tired but not wanting to hit the hay because then morning soon comes and I have to do it all over again. I get stuck in my own head, right where the enemy wants me. No one deals as well with anxiety and the everyday stresses of life when their resources are depleted. It’s a vicious cycle.

Yet this is the opposite of how God calls me to be. Through Christ I am more than a conqueror! (Romans 8:37) God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). Instead of avoiding the morning, I must pray, leave my troubles in God’s hands and most importantly, not take them back! Only after a full night’s rest can I hope to awaken refreshed and excited about the possibilities and blessings of a new day. I need better boundaries to stay out of an unhealthy rut.

One point my friend made that struck me last night was: How can I be there for others if I have barely enough energy to function myself? I can’t. Jesus set the example for us by napping when needed, and going off by Himself when the crowds got to be too much. Even God rested on the seventh day once He’d finished creating the cosmos.

We all need to take time to recharge, but there are limits and healthy ways to do it. The Lord has helped me set outward boundaries, and now it’s time to tackle and refine more inward ones. I’m glad He’s not through with me yet!

He’s not through with you, either. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6). What boundaries do you need to set or adjust? Seek His guidance through prayer and His Word (and perhaps even some counsel of godly friends), and He’ll help you figure out what is both permissible and beneficial.

Blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
2018 All Rights Reserved (Blog content and photos)

Do A Happy Dance!

 

Yesterday evening, while in search of a poem to share at Simonka, I came across a page of bits and pieces of poems I’d started a few years ago. Taking one of the longer ones, I proceeded to add, edit and scoot lines around until I had something that might be presentable and in alignment with the theme of the night: freedom in Christ.

I told the ladies at the shelter that God gives us many blessings in life, but the greatest is the blessing of freedom that we gain through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. When I stop to think about it: that I’ve been truly set free from the power of sin, and that I have the Spirit of God Himself living in me, it gives me joy. We should be so excited about what God has done and is doing in our lives, that at times we could easily do a happy dance!

Here is the poem I cobbled together, that one of the friends I serve with jokingly called a “Frankenpoem”, due to the nature of its creation:

“Reign Dance”

Blessings, like raindrops, cascade from above.
My heart, soaked and singing, drips with His love.
Splashing through puddles without a care,
so happily drenched, no raincoat I wear.
Far beyond the silver-lined clouds above
the holy drops of forgiveness and love
fall in unending supply from the throne;
My salvation and peace are in Christ alone.
Gazing toward heaven, immersed in His grace:
Glorious freedom! For He took my place.
Trusting my Savior, who washed every stain,
I sway in sweet surrender to His reign.
Matching His steps so joyful and light,
following with confident hope so bright.
Dancing with abandon, cleansed and alive;
Grace flowing free, I daily grow and thrive.
His Spirit transforms me, I dance and sing,
praising Jesus, who is my everything!

2-18-18
©Ladeena Ashley

I hope and pray that you are as excited about your faith as I am! Sadly, the longer you’re a follower of Christ, the easier it is to lose spiritual vitality. Of course, the enemy of our souls would like nothing more than for all churches to be filled with a bunch of lukewarm believers who are complacent and therefore posing no real threat to his schemes. I pray that those who claim to be His followers are (or become) so on fire for the Lord that, when they get out of bed in the morning, the enemy says to himself, “Oh, no! They’re up!”

Through Christ, we have been set free! We must do all we can to avoid letting ourselves once again become slaves to one sin or another. We’re all works in progress, and for me, following Jesus is like a dance. Most of the time, the Lord and I move across the floor in tandem, but sometimes my timing is off. Or I’m tempted to try doing my own moves, hurting myself or others in the process. Or, heaven forbid, the song itself starts to become more important than my dance partner. Yet He patiently waits for me, and the music will go on as long as I have breath in my lungs.

The world needs to know that music! With every school shooting and act of violence in the world, it is painfully apparent how much the world is hurting. Millions of souls desperately need the hope and peace that only can be found in Christ – whether they know it or not! You may be the only Jesus someone sees, so share His love with others. Things are only getting crazier – the time is now.

Are you letting the Lord reign in your life?

If you are a Christ follower, you’ve been set free – do a happy dance and share your faith with others!

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

“Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.” 1 John 5:5

Blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
2018 All Rights Reserved (Blog content and photos)

Joyful Journey

 

God is awesome! This past Sunday evening, in preparation for chapel time at Simonka Place, I studied the chosen scripture passage (James 1:2-8) and began pulling out poems to share. Reading and rereading those Bible verses about joy in trials, persevering and seeking God’s wisdom, my own journey came into focus and I thought, “I sure have a lot of practice with that!” After a quick prayer, I was inspired with a new praise-filled poem, finishing it just in time to leave for the shelter. Barely half an hour later, after sharing a bit of my story, I read the new poem aloud. Here it is:

“Joyful Journey”

It’s been a tough, but joyful journey
from the moment I said “okay”.
I’m “all in”, in full surrender –
peace flows as I humbly pray.
Lord, You’ve stayed with me through this trial,
Giving me strength to persevere;
Holy wisdom each time I ask,
and faith to follow without fear.
Blessing upon blessing have come,
for You give as I give my all:
With support from my family and friends,
Your love has broken down every wall.
My pack is filled with Your promises,
expecting that one of these tomorrows
they will be fulfilled in Your timing –
leaving mere memories of past sorrows.
But today, I continue trusting –
no doubt of Your plans for me;
Walking daily with You, Jesus,
I’m thankful, loved, and free!

1-28-18
©Ladeena Ashley

One way I’ve had joy in my trials is by sharing my struggles and faith with others. In particular, to be a witness of God’s faithfulness to the women at Simonka Place, most of whom are way out of their comfort zone, hurting and in desperate need of hope. Having been in a similar situation myself, I can speak from a place of experience and a depth of compassion, with greater empathy for each soul I encounter. God is in the business of transforming lives and using bad circumstances for our ultimate good (Romans 8:28). My mess, placed in God’s loving hands, becomes a powerful conduit for His message.

And it never ceases to amaze me how He does it! The inspiration to write about my journey is already an incredible blessing, but then I get to read it aloud and have people respond with hugs and teary eyes, saying God spoke to them through my humble offering! As His servant, my prayer is always that folks see and hear Him, not me. I’m just along for the ride, but what a joyful ride it is!

I’m humbled and thankful to be used to encourage others, even as I continue trusting and waiting for His plan to come to fruition in my own life. For sure, the trials of life are not easy, but by God’s grace, I am persevering, one day at a time!

James 1:2-8:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”

We can have joy today and hope for tomorrow, as we daily surrender our ways for His by seeking His wisdom above our own, and relying on His strength to persevere and grow.

Is your journey joyful, or are you simply trudging along the trail?

How can you help brighten the path for others along their journey?

Blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
2018 All Rights Reserved (Blog content and photos)

A Plethora Of Promises

 

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through Him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 1:20

We all make promises. We try to keep them, but sometimes we fail miserably. Thankfully, as a follower of Christ, I have witnessed over and over that we serve a God who is faithful, just and good, and we can count on His promises.

These past few years, I’ve leaned especially heavily on the Lord in prayer and in meditating on His Word; in particular, several promises have been an important part of my walk with Christ. Without the love of my Savior and the support of family and friends, I would have crumbled long ago, but God is faithful!

God’s promises offer hope, and hope is a powerful thing! It was such a blessing to share the hope I have in Christ, helping to lead chapel time at Simonka Place women’s and children’s shelter yesterday evening. Once again, the Lord inspired me to write a new poem only the day before! Here it is:

“The Promise Maker”

The promises of God forever stand;
He is faithful, His Word is true.
Clinging to Him as I walk this land,
I trust His love will see me through.
Yet some promises have a condition:
We must first ask, seek and knock.
A give-and-take of holy volition
with full surrender and daily walk.
If we believe, if we confess,
if we commit our ways and plans,
He will save, forgive our mess
and guide our lives with His hands.
God will never leave or forsake us,
He’ll finish the good work He’s begun.
The enemy seeks only to break us,
but in Jesus, the war is won.
God’s promises offer victory and power,
and all are “yes” in Christ our King,
on Whom we can rely every hour
to carry us through anything.
Claiming God’s promises, hearts overflowing
with thankful awe and peace, we pray
for wisdom and strength, seeking and growing
closer to the Promise Maker each day.

1-20-18
©Ladeena Ashley

As my teammate shared during chapel time, some are general promises, like God’s love for us. Other promises were directed at certain people or groups, but to all believers, as well. Many promises require action on our part before God will act, such as 1 John 1:9, which I referenced in my poem: “If we confess ours sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

According to one count, there are 3,573 promises in the Bible… a plethora of promises, you might say! The great news is, in His perfect timing and wisdom, God will fulfill every one!

No matter who else has broken promises to you, or let you down, God is good and He’s got your back! He loves you so much! If you seek Him with all of your heart, you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13), and He will faithfully direct your paths as you trust in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6). Give your hurts to God, claim His promises, and watch Him move!

Here are a few of my favorite promises:

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.” Psalm 37:4-6

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5

“Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you…” Psalm 55:22

“I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!” John 16:33

Blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
2018 All Rights Reserved (Blog content and photos)

 

 

Pining For A Happy Ending

The Christmas season has officially begun, and I’m feeling a bit disjointed. This will be the third holiday season in waiting mode: living apart from a loved one while continuing to navigate new emotional territory in myself.

Those of you who don’t know me personally might have guessed by now that the relationship I’ve been writing about is indeed my marriage. My husband and I have been living separately for two and a half years. In the grand scheme of things, that span is barely a blip, but at times it seems like an eternity. This morning in Sunday school, we discussed patience and perseverance, and I’ve had plenty of practice with both! There is much that is unresolved and will take more time to work through, but God faithfully walks with me each day.

It seemed like a good time to reveal the nature of the relationship in progress, because I’d like to talk about Christmas movies – the cheesy romantic ones in particular. I’ve actually already watched several of them this season. For most who are living alone or struggling this time of year, the last thing they want to do is be reminded of what they’re missing, or that their situation is less than ideal. For me, however, it’s a pleasant distraction that offers a smidgen of hope that things can work out. Yes, I’m fully aware that it’s all just fluff, and real life is never fixed by a kiss under the mistletoe. Loose ends and troubles aren’t all neatly wrapped up in a big red bow within short time frames like they are in the movies. Real reconciliation and lasting love takes godly wisdom and tenacity.

No, I don’t rely solely on those sticky-sweet, unlikely story lines to give me hope. My hope is in Christ. When I’m feeling disjointed, I look to Him, trusting that He is active behind the scenes. None of this is a surprise to Him. In a way, each of us are in our own Christmas movie. Let me explain:

Many of the plot twists and story lines we find in chick flicks are similar to what happens with the Lord, such as the main characters disliking, ignoring or misunderstanding each other in the beginning. For instance, many folks these days celebrate Christmas while ignoring the reason behind it. Before we know God, we may not understand His character or believe what the Bible says about Him. Even once we do, we forget, or the antagonist of the story (the enemy of our souls) tries to convince us that God isn’t really as loving, trustworthy or perfect as His Word says He is. The angst and distrust between people make for interesting drama on TV, but in relation to God it’s a real spiritual battle.

Like a tentative couple in a movie, we walk snowy paths, spending time learning more about the Lord and getting to know who He is (minus the stolen smooches, of course!). Things go well, until complications arise and we wonder how this will all get sorted out. In the movies, it must happen within the final ten or fifteen minutes, but in our lives it may take hours, days, or even years, depending on how stubborn we are.

At some point, one of the characters often makes some grand or incredibly thoughtful romantic gesture to communicate their love. Of course, God already did that by sending Jesus to earth to die for our sins. It was the grandest gesture of all (Romans 5:8)!

In the end, with misgivings resolved and love professed and expressed in kind, the happy couple embraces, looking forward to a bright future of life together. Once we are reconciled through Christ by grace through faith, realizing and accepting God’s infinite love for us, there is a sense of wholeness, joy and peace as we are wrapped up in a spiritual embrace that assures the hope of eternal life (1 Peter 1:3-4).

How the Lord interacts with us is truly a holy romance. God has shown us His love in multiple ways; most amazingly by sending His Son, Jesus, to be born in Bethlehem, knowing He would eventually suffer and die on the cross in our place.

Here’s a poem I wrote in response to God’s pursuit of me:

“Holy Romance”

You have all eternity
to listen and care for me
Amazing love overflowing;
You wait so eagerly.
Who am I to deprive
my soul of all You give?
Holy romance of faith;
You’re the reason I live.
Longing for fellowship sweet;
help me leave all at Your feet.
Renew my mind, flood my heart.
Only in You am I complete.
May worldly chains be broken free
as You woo me by subtle charms;
Daily refreshing the Spirit in me,
’til in heaven, I run into Your arms.

4-18-03
©Ladeena Ashley

If you know the Lord, then you know how your story ends. Jesus rose from the grave so we could live forever with Him in perfect fellowship and love, in heaven. No cheesy Christmas movie can even begin to match that feeling. Until that day comes, we must keep looking to Him, trusting that all the broken parts are in His hands.

Sometimes I feel disjointed and often carried away by my emotions, but no matter how messed up life gets, or how drawn out the process, He ultimately holds my life together and all will work out the way it should, in His perfect timing. It’s taking a lot longer than two hours, but I’m okay with that because God walks with me and gives me strength (Philippians 1:6).

If you’re not sure how your story ends, look to God. He loves you, broken parts and all. Tell Him your misgivings, spend time with Him and trust Him with your life. Just don’t give up. Only God can truly fill that ache in your heart, and make you feel complete (Proverbs 3:5-6; Romans 15:13).

Blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
2017 All Rights Reserved (blog content and photos)