A Rough Work in Progress

I’m so thankful that the Lord is patient with me! The past few months there have been good reasons not to write here in my blog, but not REALLY good reasons. My digestive issues flared up again, along with my depression and occasional anxiety. Thankfully I’m much better now, with a steady vitamin regiment, taking lots of strolls in the sunshine, and getting appropriate rest. The spring blooms are once again popping here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. It’s such a blessing to live here.

I’m also continually grateful for my family and friends, who have encouraged, supported and challenged me, especially over the past four years. I’m especially thankful for a dear couple from my church who walked with me in the frustrating years leading up to what finally ended in my divorce. At their invitation and in God’s perfect timing, I began and continue to serve alongside them at Simonka women and children’s shelter, helping to lead chapel time three times a month. Ministering to others and sharing my story has strengthened my faith, increased my confidence, and has been a healing balm to my heart.

Last Sunday, the message theme for chapel was about how God uses circumstances to smooth out our rough edges, much like river rocks are smoothed by the rushing water and the silt and sediment in it. Reflecting on how the Lord has worked in me to smooth out some of my edges, I wrote and shared this new poem:

“Go With His Flow”

Thinking back over these past few years,
I’m filled with awesome wonder to see
how the Lord worked during pain and tears
to refine and slowly reshape me.
Like a rock in a river or stream,
the current of life swiftly flows;
Below the water’s surface gleam,
there’s a spiritual undertow.
Troubles, like sediment and sand,
scraped along this jagged stone,
teaching me to trust and understand
who I am and that I’m not alone.
Through our struggles, God can soften
the edges of self-doubt and fear;
He’s who I must cling to most often
whether the water’s silty or clear.
For I have the choice every day:
Either bitterly complain and frown,
or trust God, asking how His way
will smooth my rough edges down.
In rushing rapids or gentle flow,
when I surrender to His correction,
worn but not weary, I joyfully grow.
I’d be up a creek without His direction!
Through troubled water, God wears away
those things that only cause more sorrow,
giving me strength and hope that I may
go with His flow better tomorrow!

4-28-19
©Ladeena Ashley

Last week marked a year since the divorce papers were signed. I still catch myself marveling that I’m on my own. Only I’m not. Jesus has faithfully walked beside me every step of the way. Jesus ROCKS! The more I stay focused on Him, the Spirit lifts me up, giving me a thousand reasons to smile. It gets a bit easier every day.

I’m trusting that He will continue smoothing out my rough edges so that I will more easily follow His leading, and be the loving, faithful disciple He calls me to be. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

We’re all rough works in progress. As it’s been said, Jesus loves you the way you are, but He loves you too much to leave you there. As I pray for myself, I pray for you: that you will surrender to God’s flow and let Him work in you. Don’t be up a creek without Jesus!

Blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
All rights reserved (blog content and photos)

Unravel the Loopholes

Look up – through the mess – and seek Him… Oct 9, 2017

 

God is so awesome! Once again, He gave me a new poem to share at Simonka Place on Friday evening. I finalized and printed it up only an hour before nervously reading it during chapel time at the women’s and children’s shelter. My new nickname could be “The 11th Hour Poet”! I’d been told that the message theme would be “justifying our actions”, but I waited until Friday afternoon to begin looking through my works for a poem to share. Nothing quite fit, so immediately I prayed, “Okay, Lord, do You have something special I can write for the ladies?” With a pencil and notebook at the ready, this is what He inspired me to write:

“Loopholes”

Lord, I get so tangled in myself
– every loophole becomes a noose,
cutting me off from Your truth,
trying to justify with an excuse.
Yet there’s no excuse I can make
that You cannot see right through;
Any loophole I identify
unravels in light of You.
Your Word cuts to the heart,
exposing the enemy’s lies;
The truth behind every “reason”,
each sidestep and disguise.
So in humble awe, I surrender
my faulty wisdom for Your grace.
Laying down my foolish pride
– running into Your embrace.
For You gaze right through me
even as You see me through;
I’m justified only by grace,
through faith, not what I do.
Thank You, Lord, for loving me
and for Your patience when I stumble.
May all the loopholes in my life
remain unraveled as I stay humble.

11-10-17
©Ladeena Ashley

To some degree or another, we all rationalize our actions. We are made in God’s image, so among other things, we have intellect, emotions, and a will, but because we also live in a fallen world, our clever minds can easily get us into trouble. I myself tend to over-think things or selfishly want my own way, more often than I’d like to admit. There are several loopholes or spiritual gray areas we’ve all used to justify our actions.

For many, one struggle is telling white lies. It seems like the most loving thing to do, but it actually isn’t loving at all. A white lie is still a lie. Yet there are gentle ways to tell the truth. I’m generally honest to a fault, so the challenge for me is to avoid stepping on toes through my matter-of-fact comments.

Some folks act as if they can hide things from God, or attempt to somehow outsmart Him. Those notions have never made sense to me. It’s silly to think that we can convince God that He’s wrong by using the seemingly sound reasoning and logic of the world. It is also dangerously foolish to cherry pick doctrine to serve our selfish purposes. The enemy delights in twisting the truth. By picking and choosing what we believe or turning it to justify our agenda, we’re playing right into his hand.

God’s ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are infinitely higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). We can’t even begin to comprehend the full measure of His wisdom, or fathom the depths of His understanding (Isaiah 40:28). Basically, God is God, and we are not!

That being said, the Lord actually invites us to reason together with Him (Isaiah 1:18). He welcomes dialogue. Yell, scream or even shake your fist at God. He can take it. Just know that no matter your argument, He will win. Yet when you lose, you win, for in surrendering yourself, you gain His wisdom and a deeper understanding of His will and workings.

Once again, the crux of the problem is trust in self versus trust in God. The more you trust in His perfect will and infinite love for you, the wisest (though not the easiest) choice becomes clear: to pray and seek His will ahead of your own. The God of the universe has your best interests at heart and has the unlimited resources to accomplish great things, even out of our knotted-up messes.

So with humble hearts, let us seek the perfect wisdom He offers freely (James 1:5), daily committing to follow Him with no pretense and no agenda except to do our best, by His grace.

May all of our clever loopholes be replaced with threads of joyful obedience, in light of His goodness, wisdom and love!

Faith Notes
Here’s one of my favorite songs that fits the theme of this post:
What You Want – Tenth Avenue North

Wisdom of the Word
“For the wisdom of the world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written, ‘He catches the wise in their craftiness’.” 1 Corinthians 3:19

“Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight!” Isaiah 5:21

Blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
2017 All Rights Reserved (blog content and photos)

Grace and Transforming Power

 

I had the distinct pleasure of helping minister to the ladies at Simonka Place last night. Once again, God showed up in a mighty way. I’d like to share some of my experiences with you.

Prep and Prayer
In preparation for my portion of the service, I needed to chose a song and a poem that would fit with the planned message. With so many choices, this is not easy. Even after praying for guidance it still stressed me out because I wanted so badly to be a good witness, and for everything to fit together perfectly. I caught myself acting as if it was up to me to encourage these women! Ultimately, however, I was reminded again that God is working and in control, and my service will accomplish whatever it’s supposed to. I’m simply along for the ride! Eventually I placed a handful of poems in a folder, and settled on one song.

At Simonka
Once at the shelter, we made conversation and I began to get ready. Pulling up the song I’d already chosen, another song kept playing in my head, so I cued up that one on my phone instead. Glancing through the poems in my folder, the first one seemed “right”.

After the opening prayer and an informal introduction, I shared how circumstances and bad choices can lead us away from God, but if we’re honest with ourselves and trust Him with the mess of our lives, He will turn it into something beautiful.

Here is the poem I read:

“Return to the Garden”

I met Jesus in the garden, hope blossoming free.
Lingering near the roses, He walked along with me.
Then I turned one moment – sweet nothings caught my eyes.
I was drawn away; the lion’s roar disguised.
Silently, my Savior reached out, but the wall was built.
Flower beds abandoned, the blooms began to wilt.
Years passed, I settled into a less than joyful haze
Until I realized I was out of His grace.
Through the darkness inside, I heard His quiet call.
Rising softly over the moss-draped wall.
Trusting in His mercy and forgiveness, I fought
Against the steely forces for the peace I sought.
By His Father’s power and love, down the wall came.
Vanquishing the enemy’s lies through Jesus’ name.
Once again among the roses, my heart set free
His gaze and warm embrace are love and life to me.
The fragrance of His holy love fills my weary soul.
As I live for the One who has made me whole.

3-13-02
©Ladeena Ashley

Faith Notes
The song I played for the group was “If We’re Honest” by Francesca Battistelli.
(Note: Link to opens in a new window.)

Though meant as a meditative time to simply listen, many of us sang along. It was so beautiful, softly singing with the music, listening to these souls so battered by life also lifting their voices to sing about the forgiveness and love of Christ! My hope and prayer for everyone I meet is that they each experience it for themselves.

Transformation
My friend’s message theme was: “There is nothing about our yesterday that will wipe out your tomorrow.” Unlike the world’s view that says our past performance is a good indicator of future success or failure, we can change through the transforming power of Jesus. The catch is, we have to let Him change us, because if we keep doing things the same way, we’re going to keep getting the same results.

God Sighting
I love connecting with people through song and word, but this time especially! Not long after the service concluded, one of the ladies came up to say that the song [chosen last-minute] gave her a special confirmation of something earlier that day.

Time and time again, God shows up when I step out in faith and courage, following His will the best I can. His grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in my weakness! (2 Corinthians 12:9) In a world so filled with hate and confusion, I pray that you too share with others the hope, love and deep peace that can only be found in Christ!

Blessings to you, this day and always!

©Ladeena Ashley
2017 All Rights Reserved (blog content and photos)