Since the dust has settled from the divorce and changing my name, I’ve been taking a breather, praying and working through this odd season of life that has me examining my life and reevaluating what it is that I want in it. I was on my own while separated for two and a half years, but everything changed once the papers were signed. Now it truly feels like I’m starting over and moving on. Unfortunately, my feelings morphed from simply considering what sort of hobbies and “stuff” I really feel is worthwhile in my life – reorganizing and consolidating – to looking at my whole life, wondering what the heck I’m doing with it! Overwhelmed, I kind of folded up into myself, a lot like the rose in my photo, even taking a step back from writing, as well, to just “be” for a while.
God Sighting
Yesterday I made a quick stop for groceries and got back in my car only to find that it wouldn’t start. Each time I tried, the engine turned over but apparently it lacked either spark or fuel to fire up and take me anywhere.
My first thought, as a generally glass half full person, was how glad I was that perishable items were not among my purchases in the store.
Over the next 20 minutes or so I contacted a few friends, and thankfully one couple who live nearby came to my rescue. When they arrived, the husband asked me to go ahead and try starting it again, so he could hear how it sounded, and wouldn’t you know it, my car started right up!
After turning off the engine and restarting it again, my car seemed okay. The husband had an errand to run, but his wife and I ended up going out for lunch and had a great visit. Turns out that they were preparing to travel soon , so if I had called even a day later, I likely would not have caught them at all. It was perfect timing.
God knew I needed to reach outside of myself and talk with someone, so He used car troubles to prompt me to do just that! He truly does work in mysterious ways.
New Poem
Tonight I joined my friends to lead chapel time at the Simonka Place women’s shelter. The theme this evening was “Glass Half Full or Half Empty?” This afternoon, after a bit of prayer and once again surrendering my self-doubt to the Lord, He inspired me with a new poem to share:
“The Glass”
At times when the glass of life
feels half empty instead of half full;
At my wit’s end, amidst the strife,
yet good out of evil You pull.
Greater than all I could ask or think,
larger than my hopes and dreams;
Though some days are harder to drink,
still You’re working behind the scenes.
So I will keep looking to You,
my sparkling hope in this transition;
Smiling, knowing You’re not through,
for even now, You give inspiration!
Yes, thank You, Lord, that I have a glass
and that there’s something inside;
Yet beyond that, this moment can’t pass
without praising You, for You abide
in the future, the past and right now.
You hold my heart, Your love will prevail.
I trust that some way, somehow
Your perfect plan will never fail.
So I pour out my glass to You:
in surrender, I’m refilled each day,
peace and joy brimming anew
as by Your grace I get out of the way.
Daily closer to You I’m growing,
lacking nothing I need, in Your care;
Instead, filled to overflowing,
I forget the glass as Your love I share!
6-17-2018
©Ladeena Ashley
My life is different now than I ever thought it might be, but my attitude has remained focused on the bright side, seeing the glass as half full. Many times though, I’ve just been glad I have a glass and that there’s something in it. Contentment is great, yet as I wrote in the poem, we should take it a step further. Instead of focusing on the glass and how we view its contents, we should pour it all out to the Lord, so He can fill us to overflowing with His love, power, grace, strength, joy and peace. When we’re filled with Him and flowing out to those around us, we’ll forget that there’s even a glass!
I believe that is what Jesus meant when He said, “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39) It’s not about us, our limitations or our circumstances, and it’s not about what we have or don’t have. We follow and serve the God of the universe! Through Christ we have been given access to greater things than all we can imagine!
The enemy will tell you that you aren’t good enough or smart enough. Resist him and he must flee (James 4:7). Instead, pour out your glass to the Lord so He can fill it with Himself, transforming and equipping you to perfectly fulfill His purposes. Through Christ you are more than enough!
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21
Blessings to you, this day and always!
©Ladeena Ashley
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